


You are you, only you know who that is

by DarknightVirgil



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: I know it’s bad but I tried, M/M, Some Fluff, Trans Virgil, but my anxiety has had the better of me the last week or two and I couldn’t get writing, but now here we are, i had the idea for the longest time, slight angst, some analogical for them hearts, this includes accidental misgendering (quite a bit), this is my first time writing something like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 09:18:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16385375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarknightVirgil/pseuds/DarknightVirgil
Summary: “Are you sure? Are you sure you still like me?”





	You are you, only you know who that is

Prologue 

Logan was four years old when he and his parents moved house, Logan’s dad got a new job which required them to move towns. Logan had only just started school and didn’t have many friends to begin with so the move wasn’t a massive deal to the four year old. It took them a few days to get the house in some sort of order, there was still things to be unpacked and put away (though Logan himself wasn’t at all much use) but for the most part, things were in place and it resembled a house rather than rooms of boxes.  
About a week after the move, there was a knock at the door. Curious, Logan picked his head around the door of their living room to see who it was.   
“Logan, come here love, our neighbours have come to introduce themselves” his mother called. Slowly, Logan makes his way to the front door beside his mother, his father shortly appearing the other side of him. The people on the other side, the neighbours, he assumed, were stood. Introductions were given, only Logan had stopped listening and was focused on the small child almost cowering behind their parents. 

“This is violet, she’s shy” the child’s mother stepped aside, revealing the small person behind them. Logan smiled and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Hello” he waved. Violet gave a shy wave back.

“Why don’t you come in, the kids can play in Logan’s room.” Logan’s mum offered, violets parents quickly agreeing, despite the panicked look on their child’s face.  
before violet could protest she was being swept into their neighbours house and ushered towards Logan while the parents gathered in the kitchen.

“Would you like to play with my toys?” Logan asked, holding his hand out. Shyly, violet nodded, she took Logan’s extended hand and he began leading her through the house to his room.  
Upon entering Logan immediately dragged his new friend over to his toy box. “These are all my toys but you can play with them too” he had released violets hand in order to rummage through his box. The young girl beside him relaxed and joined in searching through Logan’s toys.

The two spent the entire summer round one another’s houses, they became good friends quite quickly, Logan not having any to begin with and violet as shy as she is, they bonded very quickly and when school came around they stuck together like glue. 

About a week into the school year another kid approached Logan and violet. He asked if they would like a cookie and proceeded to hold out a small bag filled with cookies.  
The two learnt the boys name was Patton and he very much liked cookies. Patton became apart of the crew but Logan and violet remained imminently closer.

 

Towards the end of primary school another new student had transferred and Patton was asked to keep him company and show him around. At lunch Patton brought the kid over to sit with himself, Logan and violet. They clicked instantly and Roman completed the group. They would all be heading to the same secondary school and promised to stick together no matter what. 

 

Logan was 16 now. He and his friends were close as ever, the four of them keeping their promises as kids and sticking together throughout the torturous secondary school, although Logan had no problem with it really. He was quite the brain box and ended up helping the others with homework or material they didn’t understand in class during their hangouts.  
Violet and Logan still had that special bond, he was her first proper friend and she was his.

Logan had gone to violets house after school that day, a common occurrence, and they both headed up the stairs to her room, Logan calling a quick hello to her parents who only giggled in response as violets dragged him up the staircase.

He flopped on violets bed, as she sat at the desk, swivelling the chair round so she could look at her friend who was now dangling off her bed. “You alright there lo?” Violet raised an eyebrow looking at her friend who had his eyebrows knitted together, seemingly deep in thought. 

“I-“ he started but frowned instead of continuing his sentence. Violet frowned and got up moving to sit on the bed beside Logan, who sat up properly himself.  
“I am adequate” he turned to face his friend.   
“Okay, but what’s got you thinking so hard, I can hear the cogs turning” she smirked a little and Logan gave a small smile.

“I was just thinking- about you actually” a faint blush spread across his cheeks. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of hose nose, something violet noticed he did for a distraction if his glasses were not in need of being adjusted, a nervous habit.   
“I was just thinking, you have seemed a little.. off for a while now and I do not believe I have done anything to upset you, but if I have I apologise” he looked at her again, eyes full of concern.

“Oh.. you noticed?” Violet then looked away from her friend, fiddling with the drawstring of her hoodie. “I just” she but her lip. “I don’t know if you noticed but I’m... not the most feminine of people” she started, cringing at her words.

“So you are a tomboy? Is that what is bothering you? You know it’s perfectly okay to not like typical girlie things vi?” Logan was perplexed. His friend had always had a tomboy sense about her, she loathed skirts and dresses in favour of jeans if the skinny sort, last year she changed her hair style for something short and swooshy. Logan admitted he really liked it and thought it suited her nicely.

Violet looked up at Logan, she could trust him, this is her best friend, he would never judge... she looked away again a sigh leaving her lips.  
“I.. don’t think I’m a tomboy” Logan was confused but didn’t say anything, instead grabbing his friends hand and giving it a squeeze, reassuring that he was there and not going anywhere.   
“I.. don’t think I am a girl at all” then vi was looking at him, gauging his reaction. Logan was silent, but vi could see he was thinking, processing their words.

“I am not sure I understand what you are getting at?” He frowned, his grip on his friends hand tightening. “Could you maybe elaborate?” This caused his friend to sigh but a small laugh escaping with it. 

“For a brainiac you sure aren’t the smartest” they teased, seeming more relaxed than before. Logan made a noise of offence but then they were speaking again.

“I do not feel like a girl, my body is female yes.. like I have boobs and stuff but it doesn’t feel... right? Logan i... I am... I’m a boy and that’s... it sounds... I just” they were struggling to find the words, but it clicked in Logan’s mind. 

“You are a male, trapped in a female body?” He looked at them, the relief washing over their features seemed like he had hit the nail on the head. He was knocked flying by his friend as they trapped him in a bone crushing hug. 

“Fuck- yes exactly god I’m so happy you understand Logan I was so scared and..” vi continue blubbering into Logan’s neck, he could feel they were crying so he did his best to comfort them although dealing with emotions wasn’t his forte, Patton was best at that.

After they broke apart, Logan started asking questions, being sure to phrase them delicately incase he says the wrong thing. “So you are not violet?” He questioned, cringing slightly at his wording, his friend laughed and shook their head. “Well yes and no.. I am still gonna be me.. your best friend..” 

“Yes of course, that’s not at all what I was implying I simply.. uh” Logan interrupted in a panic only to be shushed by his friend.

“Hey I knew that, just lemme finish okay?” He nodded, they continued. “So I started to realise and understand these feelings like maybe two years ago? I uhm was googling it and the term transgender came up and Logan I- I am certain of how I feel and I know who I am, and it’s not violet... i-“ they stopped and got off the bed, pulling Logan up with them.

“Hello, my name is Virgil, I use he/him pronouns”. Virgil held out his hand, Logan took it, a smile plastering on his face. “Salutations Virgil! I am Logan, I use he/him pronouns” Virgil was grinning too, then he was hugging Logan tightly, Logan returned the hug resting his head atop of Virgil’s. 

“Can I tell you something now?” Logan said quietly, Virgil could hear his friends heart beat increase.   
“Yeah sure, what is it lo?” He pulled away from his friend and sat them both back on Virgil’s bed.

Logan was avoiding eye contact and mumbling to himself. Virgil sighing and cupped Logan’s jaw tilting his head up to face him. “You can tell me lo” there was a softness to his voice and Logan swallowed visibly.

“I... I don’t think this is the best timing for this but I was hoping to tell you soon anyway, I believe if I do not it shall start to affect our friendship at least if I tell you now I can learn to..”   
“Spit it out specs” Virgil gently stroked his friends cheek, feeling the skin heat up underneath his hand.

“Virgil, I believe I have developed romantic interest in you and it has taken me two years to finally admit this to you and I’m terrified, I do not wish to ruin our friendship you mean so much to me v and I care deeply about you, and our other friends of course but it’s always be you and I, you have always been there for me and I’m so scared of losing you” Virgil couldn’t believe his ears, his heart started racing and there was a ringing in his ears.  
He must not have responded for a while because Logan was calling his name then, panicked look on his face and apologies pouring from his lips.

“A-are you sure?” He questioned quietly, his hand dropped from Logan’s face and he turned away. “Are you sure you still like me? are you sure you didn’t like violet?” Virgil shuddered slightly, feeling tears form in his eyes. 

That got Logan to stop his incessant apologies. “What? I am positive Virgil, why... I do not understand” Logan looked perplexed. “I have romantic interest in you, you are you, you have always been you” Logan reached for Virgil’s hand, when he made no move Logan delicately picked it up. 

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Virgil asked, finally looking at Logan. Logan’s brow furrowed again and Virgil huffed. “You’re straight? You like me? Yes I have female anatomy but I’m- I’m Virgil and..” his friend started getting worked up, upset and seemingly angry and then it clicked again for him.

“No-virge listen to me” Logan squeezed his hand. “I am going to ignore you assumption of my sexuality for the fact you are worked up and distressed, for the record, I am bisexual” Logan smiled softly and Virgil suddenly felt very guilty but before he could say anything Logan was continuing it’s his speech. “I do not like you for you physical attributes, I like you for everything else, for who you are Virge, and like you said, you’re still you but you’ll be happier, having people misgender you is taxing on your mental health, and despite them not knowing as you had not wished to come out it’s still hard and I know how hard it was for you to come out to me just now, I’m so proud of you Virgil” Logan had dropped Virgil’s hand in favour of cupping his face and wiping at the tears that started to fall. Virgil then collapsed into Logan, sobs starting to rack his body and Logan held him. Gently rubbing his back and stroking his hair. Virgil managed to squeak out the smallest, softest “thank you” Logan almost didn’t hear it.

 

It had been three years after Virgil came out, to Logan, to Patton and Roman, to his parents. Three years of him and Logan being in a happy, healthy relationship. And one year since he had started on testosterone, he couldn’t be happier than he was now, he was at college, everyone knew him as Who he was and he still got to live next door to his best friend, and boyfriend.. who also happened to attend the same college as him, along with his two other friends.  
There were still bad days, still days Virgil really struggled, but Logan was always there.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are appreciated!  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
